I’ve been thinking a lot about summer.

What’s is going to be like to be home for 4 months? I’ve learned that my happiness depends on the people I surround myself with. I don’t have friends in Falmouth.

Are people going to care about my birthday? Will they send me presents?Will Dani really fly up? What’s Sam LaFratta going to say/do? Bailey? Emma?

Am I going to make friends with baseball boy? I’m actually in college now. A hookup would rock. I wanna party with the team.

Where will I be working? Will I be happy? Will I have friends there? How busy am I going to be?

What am I going to do about bathing suits?

Will Leah really come visit me? Will I be able to come visit Boston?

Will Ashley really come up for a bit? Will Elle? Will I go to Tennessee?

Mostly, I’m just really unsure about how I’m going to be okay. Even one week and I can feel the depression settling in. I think the key is keeping busy, making friends, and having old friends visit. Keep up the same front I’ve had at school – the friendly girl who can talk to anyone. I’m really nervous that my birthday is going to be tough. I spent 18 at the MFA with my mom. I don’t want to feel like I don’t matter on 19, because that will drive me right back into last summer’s sadness.

Here’s to this summer being a million times better than the last, and just as wonderful as freshman year.

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